Many children are not receiving the "talk" about sex and pregnancy from their parents as they may not feel comfortable speaking about it. Other parents may choose not to mention it due to moral standards etc. What is true is that young people should be knowledgeable about what their body is capable of doing. I believe that sex education should be a part of public school curriculum and should recommend abstinence, however should include methods of contraception and STD prevention education. Young people have been having sex through human existence and if that is the choice, they should have the knowledge of how to decrease the detrimental effects that come with this choice.
An anecdote I heard was from a young woman's experience with her initial menarche. Her name is Jessica Hernandez and is a first generation american from mexican descendence. Sex education was very taboo for her family as it was deemed shameful for young people to know about sex, therefore she never received information about her menstrual cycle and what would happen to her body as she reached puberty. However, she had an older cousin who she would visit and who was just experiencing her first menstrual cycle. Horrified, she asked her cousin why she had blood stained pads in the trash can. Her cousin calmly told her that it was due to her menstrual cycle and that she would eventually go through the same thing as she aged. Jessica understood and didn't mention anything to her mother anymore. A month after she turned ten years old, she suddenly felt the urge to use the restrooom and noticed her stained panties. She recognized what this was due to her cousin's information and calmly went to ask her mother if she had a sanitary napkin. Her mother was surprised and quickly gave her a napkin and walked to the restroom with her. Her mother's response was "pobrecita", which is the equivalent of "poor child" in english. Jessica was fine with what happened to her body.
In conclusion to this story, that is why we as parents have to speak to our children about sex and their bodies. It goes along with teachings as important as manners, college and morals in my opinion. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy website give tips to what to tell our child when we have the "talk". This includes a series of steps and recommendation as follows:
- First and foremost, you matter more than you think.
- Remember, it matters what you do, not just what you say.
- The success sequence.
- Who's in charge.
- Am I ready for a relationship?
- Am I in love?
- The older partner thing.
- How to deal with pressure.
- Be respectful and talk honestly about relationships.
- Remember, it's not just what's safe, it's what's right.
- Let them know that you are on call 24/7
The perfect scenario would include both parents calmly sitting at home with no distractions and all ears open to what their child can tell them about their life. A calm and open perspective is necessary as children are being exposed to various subjects from a very young age and becoming defensive will not assist in learning.
The Talk, It's More than just Sex. 2011. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. Retreived June 23, 2011. http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/parents/relationships.aspx
I also agree that sex education should be part of the school curriculum. I definitely think abstinence should be pushed more than anything else, but contraceptives should be discussed as well. It seems that kids these days are aware of so much more than I was when I was younger, and with so many teen pregnancies I think it's important to address the ways of prevention.
ReplyDeleteCynthia,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you sex education should be strictly enforced in the school curriculum because in our generation children are adapting to different things and surroundings from the media and what is seen on television. Yes, some parents are very nervous when it comes to having the "talk" with their children. I take myself for example my mother never really had the talk with me about sex and some of the consequences but my mother did tell me all about my menarche and how to take care of myself. Years later I asked my mother why we never really had the talk about sex education her response was she didn't really know how to approach the situation and was nervous because she didn't want me to go through the "sex phase." Every since asking my mother that question we begin to have some talks but it was stuff I already knew or experienced. The tips you provided are very good also the best approach for the parent is to be a good listener and remain calm because children do have a hard time coming to their parents to address issues on topics like sex education.
Wow, this posting had a plethora of great information. The example of Jessica painted a pretty accurate picture of typical families where this subject is not discussed. Was Jessica's situation due to religion or just moral conservatism? My parents were quite open with me, but not on all levels. I have utilized my personal experience with sex and life as an example to my daughter. I think sex education is imperative to preventing disease and unplanned pregnancies. Great Posting
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